Chased by the Night
by Nightcrawler's Shadow
Summary: Nightmares are never fun, especially if you know they're true. Kurt's hearing voices in his head, who are they and why do they want Shadowcat dead? Kurtty, itty bitty Loro and Jott, Todd/Kurt friendship. Rated for violence and blood in future chapters.
1. Nightmares and Daydreams

Chapter 1: Nightmares and Daydreams

Disclaimer: -beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep-

A/N: Wow, I survived this week? Amazing. I hope you guys enjoyed all the new stories this week, look for their updates in the future!

oOo

The Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters was a place well known in Bayville. It was known mainly as a boarding house for teenagers across the globe that came to Bayville, and also for its very wealthy benefactor, Professor Charles Xavier, a man considered to be one of the greatest minds of the century.

Currently, it was calm and peaceful, the numerous clocks inside all ticking down to midnight. Every one of the X Men was dreaming quietly, even Logan for once in his life. Although that may have had something to do with the African goddess curled up in his arms.

Everyone was serene but one and that was Kurt Wagner.

The boy's fur was slicked down against his skin with a cold sweat as he tossed and turned in his bed. Soft whimpers occasionally escaped him along with unintelligible German mutters. His covers had long been kicked to the floor in his struggles from enemies only he could see. Sharp breathes passed his lips, gliding past his fangs and into his lungs in harsh gasps. His tail lashed from side to side, it had probably helped in ridding its master of the sheets earlier in the night.

"_Demon!"_

_Sixteen year old Kurt raced through the rain, feeling hot blood dribble from the gash on his hip down his stomach and leg. It left a splattered trail behind him, an obvious lead for them to find him. He was crying, gasping, sobbing, begging for this all to be a nightmare. Just a bad dream. He was really home, with his parents, safe and sound. He wasn't being battered with stones and fire. People weren't hitting him with shovels or trying to stab him with pitchforks and knives._

_From a window above him a man howled and threw down, with surprising accuracy- a wicked looking dagger._

_Kurt cried out as the metal dug deep into his shoulder and he skidded to a halt. He struggled to pull himself along, desperate to get away, but they crowded around him. He could no longer distinguish between their faces, they were all the same. Twisted with fear, anger and hatred._

_He coughed, "Please...please leave me be. I didn't do anything." They didn't hear him, or if they did they didn't care._

_Someone leaned down and viciously yanked the dagger from Kurt's shoulder. He let out an animalistic yelp, crossed with a growl. His fangs flashed and their angry cries intensified. _

_He was so cold, but the blood running down his arm was hot, and sticky, mixing with sweat and rain to turn him into a devilish appearing ghoul of the night._

"_I didn't do anything." He sobbed._

_He didn't hear their words, but the sword was felt as it ran through his skin and into his stomach. A burning pain enveloped him..._

"No!" Kurt leapt from his bed, landing on the floor in a crouch, hands braced, panting hard as he woke from the nightmare.

"No, no, no..." his stomach writhed and he raced to the bathroom, leaned over the toilet and lost the contents of his stomach.

Tear ran down his cheeks, creating small lines in the fur as he gasped. Panting for air and trying to will his dream from his mind.

Once his stomach had calmed, he flushed the toilet and curled up on the tiles of the floor, not trusting his stomach not to betray him again.

His tail, while annoying at times, comforted him by wrapping around his legs as he drew his knees to his chin, and then some.

He struggled to keep his breathing even at the same time he fought not to return to the memories that had plagued him for so long. But there was no hiding from them, especially now. They'd been coming after him more recently for some reason; he'd barely had a single decent sleep in nearly two weeks. It was starting to become obvious that he was getting sick almost every night too. He had always been thin, that was the nice thing about a high metabolism, but now he was painfully thin. As in, if he took off his shirt you could almost count every single one of his ribs.

He groaned as his stomach churned again, memories refusing to leave and shadows of past pain flitting through his body as long healed scars ached.

oOo

Kitty smiled to herself as she practically skipped downstairs, a good night's sleep always put her in a good mood. The only thing that could add to that would be seeing Kurt, her best friend and secret crush for a little while now. She couldn't help it if his smile made butterflies erupt in her stomach, or his jokes made her laugh. Just being with him made her day better.

So she found it very odd when she came to the kitchen to see that Kurt wasn't there. Usually he was downstairs, dressed and on his third helping of breakfast before anyone even made it to the stairs.

No, instead Evan and Rogue were chatting across from each other, Jean and Scott were making goo-goo eyes and holding hands, and Logan was drinking his coffee while reading the paper and Ororo was working hard at cooking enough food for everyone.

"Hey, did Kurt, like, already leave or something?" Nightcrawler's addiction to early morning Gut Bombs was well known for Monday mornings.

"No, he hasn't been down. Could you go see if he slept in?"

Kitty nodded to Ororo and headed back upstairs, Kurt probably was up late reading or something and slept in past his alarm.

"Kurt, it's like, time for breakfast." She phased in and her eyebrows knitted together. Kurt wasn't in his bed, but it was an utter mess, blankets strewn across the floor haphazardly. This was extremely unlike him; Kurt was always meticulously neat, bordering on OCD.

"Kurt?" she looked around before noticing the bathroom door was slightly ajar.

"Fuzzy?" she pushed the door open slightly and gasped. Kurt was curled up on the floor, shaking slightly and looking half dead.

"Kurt!" she dropped to her knees beside him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

His eyes opened slowly, revealing fogged golden depths.

"Katzchen?" he croaked, his voice hoarse and just sick sounding.

"Oh Fuzzy, you, like, aren't feeling good are you."

He shook his head slowly, weakly and her heart clenched.

"Oh baby, come on." She helped him up and back to his bed where she tucked him in.

She brushed his bangs back, finding his forehead feverish, "Don't worry, you'll, like, be okay. I'll go, like, get Ms. Monroe." As she turned to leave, he grabbed her wrist.

"No...stay...please?" he sounded...almost scared, but that was odd. Why would he be scared?

"Okay Kurt, I'll stay." She whispered softly and sat on his bed, holding his hand. He must be hallucinating, that happened when people had fevers sometimes.

She hummed softly, stroking his hair as she called Jean in her mind.

~Jean, tell Ms. Monroe to, like, come upstairs to Kurt's room, fast. ~

She continued humming, hoping Jean would pull from her Scott induced trance to deliver the message. If not, she would have to hurt the red head.

Thankfully, she wouldn't have to inflict her wrath upon the older girl when Ororo quietly stepped into the room.

"Kitty, what is it? What happened?"

"Kurt's, like, really sick."

Ororo placed her hand on Kurt's forehead and the boy opened his eyes. Storm got a very mothering expression on her face and ran her fingers through Kurt's hair.

"You're right."

Kitty held tight to Kurt's hand, "I like, found him on the bathroom floor. I like, think he's been there, like, all night."

Ororo sighed and nodded, "Go finish getting ready for school, Kitty. I'll take care of Kurt."

Kitty nodded, carefully letting go of Kurt's hand, but she did notice he struggled to keep a grip on her own hand.

"I'll be, like, back after school Kurt. I like, totally promise." She faked a smile before leaving the room.

oOo

Kurt didn't want her to go. He wanted her to stay; she made the bad memories go away. She made him feel safe. Just having her hold his hand made him remember all the good times with her and for those precious moments the bad memories went away. But he knew he couldn't be selfish, she had to go to school, he couldn't keep her there for reasons he wouldn't even say out loud to his parents.

"Oh Kurt, it'll be alright. I know you don't feel good right now." Ms. Monroe's voice was rich and soft at the same time, it did a little to soothe the pain in his mind, but he still prayed for Kitty to come home soon.

Her hands were on his throat, gently kneading and feeling how swollen it had become. Almost to herself she spoke.

"At least now we know why you've started to lose so much weight over the last few weeks. You poor thing."

He let his eyes slide closed as she looked him over.

"Kurt, I'm going to go get a few things, you just rest okay. Try and sleep."

~_No, I can't sleep. Not alone. ~_ He mentally screamed.

He shivered, it looked like he was shaking from fever, but in reality, it was fear.

He wasn't going to be getting better anytime soon.

oOo

By lunch Kurt had succumbed to exhaustion and not so much fell asleep, but passed out. It seemed that his exhaustion had even tired out his imagination and he slept soundly for a good few hours until he woke as someone entered his room. He stirred slightly and looked to the side to see Kitty looking like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Oh, I like, woke you up, didn't I?" she sounded almost like she was about to burst into tears, something he couldn't quite understand.

"It's fine Katzchen." Was that really his voice? It sounded like a broken blender attempting to frappe rusty nails.

She shook her head but came to kneel beside his bed, gently taking his hand and rubbing small circles on the back with her thumb. He didn't look much better than he had that morning, but he seemed to be more aware and less caught in hallucinations. His eyes were still oddly haunted though.

That remained there in silence, Kurt focusing on the gentle feel of her hand over his. It was warm and much smaller than his own, with five elegant fingers and perfectly manicured nails painted a light, pale pink. In comparison to his own it was like looking at a real life rendition of Beauty and the Beast, that animated film Kitty had coerced him into watching a few months ago. He only had three, thick fingers covered in a layer of dark blue fur, a stark contrast to her skin. It made his heart ache that he was so far away from being anything like her. He wasn't normal or even moderately attractive in his mind. He was ugly, terrifying and inhuman.

Kitty was unaware of his bleak thoughts as she made her own observation of their hands. What he didn't see, she did. He was so gentle with those hands when it came to her. He acted like she was made of crystal or the thinnest pane of glass moulded into a fine porcelain doll. She liked his hands; they were unique, just like him.

"I hope you get better soon." She whispered softly, unaware that she was speaking the words out loud. She squeezed his hand a bit tighter than before.

Kurt heard her and felt the pressure on his hand, bringing him from his dark musings. It lightened his heart, she didn't care how hideously deformed he was anymore. While she had before, she no longer did. She cared for him; he heard it in her voice. He squeezed her hand back and she looked up to see him smiling slightly, the darkness in his eyes abating some.

She smiled back, not willing to say anything past the block in her throat. She liked Kurt, a lot more than just friends, but right now he needed her as his best friend.

And she was willing to wait.

oOo

A/N: It's just the opening chapter people, remember this is me, you'll get your angst/horror/romance/scarring mental images soon. :D Until then, I'm going to finish Blood Passion before i fully dive into this story. Be patient.

**Tomorrow: Surprise Update! Be sure to vote in the new poll on my profile for which of the stories you want updated next week!**


	2. The Voice

Chapter 2: The Voice

**!WARNING**: Explicit mentions of cutting, depression, and self harm! General mentions of child abuse and drug abuse. **READ AT OWN RISK!**

Disclaimer: Anything recognizable I do not own.

A/N: Um...don't kill me? –dodges rotten fruit- yes, I know I've been gone a long time! And the only excuse I have is that I finally graduated high school (later bitches! Mama's movin' on!) So been prepping for university, blah blah boring shit, yadda yadda...Anyways, decided enough was enough and finally pulled my shit together enough to get this put together in some semblance of order (I think). Updates are sporadic with me (and probably will be for some time) HOWEVER I will finish ALL of my stories, even if I have to die to do it...that may have come out a bit more dramatic than I intended.

Anyways! I have a pole up on my profile (please vote) it involves Twitter and stuff and things, give me your opinion. To all my friends (if you're even still reading this, shit this is long) I'm sorry...but, yeah...life. I'll try and get back to you guys as soon as possible.

Unbeta-ed cuz I don't have time, used Google translate for the meagre amount of German. Forgive me, I know that thing is useless, but I'm lazy.

Wow, really long author note. On with the show!

oOo

A few days later Kurt was actually better, surprisingly. Going back to school and falling into his normal routine again was easy and he found it was even easier to pretend like everything was fine.

It wasn't.

Every night he woke up from nightmares of past tragedies, and they were getting worse. Bloodier, gorier, and it didn't help that Kitty made him watch Hotel Rwanda with her a few days ago. He'd watched it with her before and really enjoyed it, but now machetes decided to join his dreaming, even if he had no memory of them in real life. Either way he shuddered at the thought and didn't even go into the kitchen before dinner, knowing Ororo had to use knives to prepare the food. He was being incredibly paranoid, he knew that, but it was a natural instinct for him to run from anything that could cause him harm.

What he really needed was a therapist at that point, but really he didn't even feel comfortable telling his parents or the Professor about those nights and days where he lived a nightmare. So he continued to silently suffer.

They left the Danger Room after their most recent session and Kurt was fighting the urge to curl into a ball. They'd been working with Logan, and while the feral man barely ever scared him these days, the man's claws were another story entirely.

He felt weak, pathetic, and caged in.

Giving his friends a smile and some excuse he wouldn't remember in five minutes, he bamfed upstairs and got cleaned up in record time before grabbing his inducer and bamfing again, this time outside and past the boundary walls of the mansion.

Now in the fresh air, Kurt felt his head clear and he relaxed. It was beautiful, barely a cloud in the sky, the air rich with the scents of coming autumn, the air was cool but nothing his fur didn't counteract as he started down the sidewalk.

_I'm going crazy. _he thought to himself. He shouldn't be scared of Wolverine, it was stupid and he shouldn't be scared of Ororo's knives.

Yet he still shivered at the thought of them both.

_**Then why don't you get rid of the problem at its source? ~**_

Kurt froze. A foreign voice reverberated in his mind. It was a sleek, dark hiss that sounded as dangerous as it did safe and enticing. He almost wanted to follow the advice, but that made him start.

~_Okay, calm down Nightcrawler, you just haven't gotten enough sleep. ~_

_**~And whose fault is that? Certainly if you didn't have something to fear, you wouldn't be having nightmares. ~**_

The voice was back and he shuddered, hugging himself as he continued walking.

_Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it. _He told himself over and over, and the voice didn't speak again. He pushed it aside as an exhausted mind playing tricks on him.

In his distraction, he didn't realize where he was headed until he felt a flash of air breeze by him. He stopped and looked up feeling his heart drop at the sight that met him. He'd walked to the Brotherhood Boarding House, this was the last thing he needed right now.

"Well look who it is!" a quick paced voice stated snootily.

Quicksilver leaned against Kurt, his elbow resting on the other boy's shoulder, "Whatcha doin' here X Geek? This is our territory."

Kurt shrugged the mutant boy off, fighting a growl, "Just passing through, Quicksilver, I'm not looking for a fight."

"Oh really? Then why ya here?" he pretended to inspect his nails.

Kurt rolled his eyes at the other boy's vanity and continued walking.

Quicksilver appeared before him in a blur of motion, "Now, now, why are you leaving so soon? Come on in, take a load off. Just don't get any fur on the sofa, it takes long enough to get Toad's stench out."

"Hey, I resent that, yo!" Toad hopped into view from where he'd been doing God knows what in the garden –or what would have been a garden, now it was really just a lump of dirt and weeds.

Kurt fought a groan of annoyance; this was just what he needed, "I'll be leaving now." He stated coldly, shouldering past Pietro.

"What I say?" the blonde boy smirked but Kurt kept walking.

_**~You shouldn't have to take that. Be rid of him, wipe that smirk from his face! ~**_The voice was back, and louder than before. So much so that Kurt nearly stumbled and fell on his face.

_Whoever you are, leave me the hell alone! _

He hadn't realized he'd stopped again until he felt someone prodding his shoulder. Looking over he realized it was Toad, who had an oddly concerned look on his face."Uh, you okay dude? You're acting kinda...weird."

Kurt blinked, astounded by the true concern in his enemy's voice.

"I'm fine." He muttered. _No I'm not. _

Toad seemed to read his thoughts because he gave him a very doubtful look.

Kurt ignored him and kept walking, he didn't have to wait five seconds before he heard the slap of sneakers behind him.

"Don't follow me."

"I'm not gonna mess with you, yo, I'm just..." he trailed off and Kurt turned to see the boy looking very out of place.

"Just vhat?"

"Concerned?" Toad looked up; returning with what sounded more like a question than a statement.

Kurt sighed and ran his hand through his hair, and in a move very reminiscent of the time he helped Toad save Wanda, he replied with, "Someone slap me." He turned and kept walking, but this time didn't comment when Toad came up and started walking beside him.

"Vhy are you concerned Todd?"

He shrugged, "I don't know yo...I just...you helped me with Wanda so..."

Despite himself, Kurt felt his lips twitch upwards slightly, "Vell...thanks I guess." He took a sideway glance at his walking mate. "So...vhen did you start?"

"Huh?" Todd gave him a confused glance, but his eyes showed a tenor of fear.

"I can see the scars on your wrist, Todd, so vhen did you start? I started vhen I was twelve."

Toad's jaw went slack at both the reveal and the admission, so much so his reply was almost immediate, "Thirteen."

Kurt nodded, "Vhy, might I ask?"

Todd shrugged, "Mama was into the drug scene, Pop was gone, kids teased me at school, it was a way to relieve stress. But what about you, yo, the X Men's fuzzy mascot cuttin'? Don't sound like you."

Kurt smirked darkly and Todd stared, a shiver running through his center, it was a very unpleasant expression.

"There's a lot of stuff I've done that vouldn't sound like me." Kurt took in a breath, losing the expression that had thrown Todd for a loop. "I vas scared, tired of being a demon freak that everyone tried to kill. I was sick of having to wear a hood if I ever vent outside and vear a cloak even in the middle of summer. It gave me a sense of control over my own body, _I_ vas the one causing my blood to run...It was oddly satisfying." Kurt finished.

Todd nodded in understanding, "I get that, yo. My Mama...she'd come home off her head, y'know. She'd be so out of it she wouldn't even recognize me." Toad's voice tightened and they took a turn into the park; the old, overgrown one no one ever went to. "She yelled at me, slapped me around a bit. I got that same feeling of control, no one was making me bleed but me."

"It vas like all your stress vas running from your skin." Kurt finished for both of them.

"Yeah..." Todd muttered softly, head down turned as they continued walking.

The wind blew through the trees, causing Toad to shiver but Kurt welcomed it as it ran through his fur and lapped at the skin beneath. The leaves rustled and a few stray papers were thrown into the air and flew for a distance before cart wheeling out of sight.

"Do you still...y'know." Toad looked up at the taller mutant, slightly wishing he could see through the hologram to read his eyes. The computer generated facade had entirely blank, sapphire slates for eyes, the exact opposite of his normal, expressive golden orbs.

Kurt shook his head, "Stopped a year before I came here. You?"

"Same. I couldn't...not living with people who were more sane than Ma."

Kurt chuckled darkly, "How I managed to keep it from my parents I'll never know, guess there is something to say for dark German forests. Surprised no animals ever came at the scent of blood though." The way he spoke was flippant, like he wouldn't have cared if such a thing had happened and some wolf or bear tore into him.

They fell into silence again as they walked, doing a circle of the dusty pebble path of the park.

"I never told anyone about the cutting. None of the Brotherhood ever pay that close attention, how'd you catch it?" Toad asked curiously.

Kurt smiled slightly, "Vhen ve vent to save Vanda, I noticed the scars, and I kept seeing them every time we crossed paths. I recognized them all too easily." He explained.

Todd nodded, satisfied with the answer, "Did I ever thank you for helpin' me with that?"

Kurt shrugged, "Doesn't matter."

"Thanks either way, man."

Kurt somehow managed to smile at his enemy, they were more alike than he first thought.

"How's that going anyvay? Vith Vanda, I mean."

Todd sighed sadly, "It isn't, I mean I'm not being thrown into as many walls now, but she's still disgusted by me."

"Maybe if you took a shower more often." Kurt taunted gently.

Toad smiled, chuckling, "Wondering when the Wild Blue Yonder Boy would come out."

Kurt gave him an odd look before rolling his eyes, "Vhy Tabby?" he asked the sky.

Toad laughed out loud and Kurt found himself laughing along.

They quieted after a while, but there was now a sense of companionship between them, instead of a dark tenseness.

"What about you and Shadowcat?" Todd asked.

Kurt sighed, "Eh, she doesn't scream vhen she sees me."

Toad rolled his eyes, "Dude, I've seen her with you! Don't try and pull that shit on me, I've seen the looks she gives you."

"Looks?" Kurt gave him a surprised stare.

"You seriously haven't seen them?" Toad was shocked, from how much Kurt saw in others, he missed the most obvious girl Look. The: "I really like you, so ask me out." Look. It appeared that it happened with all guys, mutants not excluded.

Kurt shook his head and Toad smiled slightly, "Dude, she's totally into you, yo."

Kurt shook his head, "Impossible, Katzchen vould never- scratch that, _could never_ be vith someone like me. Someone that looks...the vay I do... Unmöglich." (Impossible)

Toad sighed, "Just pay attention a bit more, yo. You'll see what I mean."

Kurt didn't respond to that, but didn't react in any negative way so they continued on in silence.

oOo

It was past midnight by the time Kurt reappeared at the gates of the mansion. He didn't even blink as he bamfed from the sidewalk up to his bedroom and started pulling off his clothes. He and Toad had literally done circles in the park until the moon was high in the sky and they both decided they'd bled out old wounds enough to sleep soundly.

It was odd, but telling Toad about everything that he'd done to himself, and some of what others had done to him, had been like draining a festering wound. And something told Kurt that Todd felt the same way.

In an unspoken agreement, they wouldn't tell anyone else of what the other had said, but something had been built between them. Kurt wouldn't call it a friendship, but the next time the X Men and the Brotherhood met...

He'd focus on kicking Lance's ass more than Toad's.

oOo

(another) A/N: Chapter three is already in the works, hope you guys liked this chapter. And YES it's only going to get worse from here. Any guesses on the origin of the voice (creepy music in background)

Read, review and show some love!


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